When Trust is Broken.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 1 Corinthians 4-5

This journey set before us called life has many unexpected twists and turns that many times we never see coming. The one constant that God has provided for us here on earth, is Love. Love has a partner and the two go hand in hand, the second is called Trust. Together the two tackle the main problem of humanity, Sin. From the beginning of time, God's story from Genesis to Revelation, the whole thing, is a love story written to us, for us, and about us. The one thing that God demands of us is Trust. So then it is not hard to see why God, forming us in His image, made Love and Trust such important and critical emotions. It is truly profound if you think about it that the image God was speaking of in His Word, was not as much a physical identity, but an Emotional image. Keeping that in mind, as an intro, if you will, I give you blog number three in our journey, When Trust is broken...

In my relationship with God I have had times where I have failed. We all do. But it is entirely different to hurt someone in the flesh, someone close, someone you love. The thing about the Devil and his creation of sin, is that it specializes in taking something God created for good, and turning it into something wicked, warped, and mangled until it hardly resembles the creation it started out as.

The same can be said for a relationship. Satan can take a perfectly good thing, a relationship God has fashioned, and drive the wedges of hurts, habits, and hang-ups, deep into the hearts of the individuals involved. This is true of all relationships, friendships, dating relationships, marriages, the list goes on. The question then, is, when the damage has already been done, how do we overcome what Satan has done, and use it to strengthen the relationship it was aimed at destroying? The short answer is, there is no short, simple answer.

How do we overcome what Satan has done, when the damage is already done?

This is no easy task. The first human reaction to the damage Satan has done is to get angry. Slowly at first until the full mind-numbing, heart-wrenching, gut level anger is fully exposed and the vicious nature that is our flesh wants nothing more than revenge. It is the first reaction you see out of a three year old who has been pushed down. Crying, snot-nosed, and sometimes bloody, they get up, tears still in their eyes and go to exact revenge, quickly and forcefully. It is our nature. It doesn't matter if we don't have all the facts, nor does it matter that sometimes we knew it was coming due to the actions or course we are heading, if we as humans get hurt, we want our attackers to feel that hurt. The second thing that happens in this situation is a slow-motion playback of all the signs that pointed right to the unseen yet very much inescapable consequence of that sin. Then, finally, when all other emotions subside, the deep hurt and revelation of the betrayal is exposed, and it feels unbearable. It is in this moment that Satan sits back and enjoys his creation. The thing he has slaved over, his baby. The relationship that God crafted before the beginning of time, this tapestry of love, slowly comes unraveled. Sin has won again. Or has it?

The one thing Satan has overlooked from the beginning of time has been HIS creator. The very one that he, in the beginning, betrayed, the author and perfecter of our Faith and more importantly, Love. God's love is endless, and knows no boundaries. There are several steps that we must take on this road of healing, that are huge weapons against Satan's attack, and more importantly serve as the stepping blocks we must walk in order to get to a place of peace and unity with God, and with the ones we have hurt.

Step one: Pray, ask God to give you the Grace you don't deserve, and the strength to face those you've hurt with compassion, humility, and understanding. The road ahead is not an easy one and will not pass quickly...

Step two, is simply this, you need to get one on one with the person you have sinned against, the person you have hurt, and you get it all out. Say everything and leave nothing undiscussed. First you need to admit your wrongs against them and against God. Then, you need to sit back, quietly and humbly, and listen to what the other person has to say. This is never easy. They will say things that you will simply think are not true, get over it, if they're feeling them than they are real and you will have to deal with them. Often times this means getting alone in a quiet place away from other people and fleshing out every aspect of the hurts between you.

Third, say you are sorry and mean it. If you don't mean it than you might as well walk away from that friendship, relationship, marriage right then and there. Only a broken man, is welcome in the Kingdom of God. Sorry will not be enough for the biggest ugliest of hurts, only time can heal those wound, but you must make them right regardless. Sarcasm will not help the situation nor will it make the wound hurt less, the fact is there has been damage, a breech in trust, and that does not ever fix itself nor does it happen overnight.

Fourth, allow time for God to work in the hearts of all involved in the situation. If it is a spouse or some other significant other, this will be a trial and error event. Nothing about what has been done will be fixed right away and no matter how hard you try, trust will not rebuild itself. Trust is the slowest developing product of any relationship but it is the fastest to disappear. In an instant the thing you have worked so hard to build can shatter in your hands. There is no trust super glue that makes things better. The only solution is to rely fully on God and pray for your relationship.

Lastly, for pete sake stop doing whatever it was that created that breach in trust. How can you rebuild a brick wall on the beach is the tide is washing away your foundation? In the same way you must put up barriers and boundaries to protect yourself from these things and stay away from them.

You know, I can't help but look at the situation that Im in now, watching the people I've hurt react to the things I've done, and see a small glimpse of how God must feel every time we fall into the sin that so easily entangles. After all, he is the author of our emotions, they are crafted after His own. And the greatest thought of all is this: "But God demonstrates His own Love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 What an overwhelmingly comforting thought! While we were still the dirty, sinful, gross, betraying, backstabbing, lying, creatures of sin, God had compassion for His creation, and He gave us the ultimate gift, Grace. If you can't get excited about that, something is just slap wrong with you!

More to come, stay tuned.

Josh

Taking the First step.

In order to begin the long adventure of transmogrification and following God's perfect plan for obedience, the first step must be to go back and make right the hurts and hang-ups that caused you to fall into sin in the first place and also, now that it is exposed, to apologize and correct the wrongs that are caused by such a hurtful thing. But first and foremost we must humble ourselves before God and lean on His unfailing love and Grace to cover us. It is difficult not to approach God seeking "hand-out" forgiveness, treating it as something that is expected or deserved... This is simply unacceptable, God's forgiveness is not a deserved hand-out. It is an undeserved gift, a grace unimaginable. Seek His forgiveness with a broken heart, humbled by your sin and then rely on His perfect plan to come into play. "But you are a God of forgiveness, gracious and merciful, slow to become angry, and rich in unfailing love." Nehemiah 9:17

After taking the first step toward Holiness, you must face the individuals that you hurt by your actions. In my case, I had to spend some time reflecting on the things I've done, the people I've hurt, and then sit down and accept full responsibility for my actions. This is no easy task, nor is it one that you can simply open a book, formulate a game-plan, and then attack head on. Instead we are left with no choice but to rely on God for strength, and to humbly seek forgiveness and ask for the understanding of those you've hurt. The hardest part is hearing their side of the story. A first-hand account of the transgressions you have committed against them, as well as the hurt and feelings that individual both felt then and is feeling now toward you and your actions. It is comforting in times like this that God has promised us that our sins have been erased by His Son's sacrifice for us all. "LORD, if you kept a record of our sins, who, O Lord, could ever survive? But you offer forgiveness, that we might learn to fear you. I am counting on the Lord; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word." Psalm 130:3-5

I am blessed to have someone in my life who loves me where I am and supports me in where I'm going. Someone who understands the concept of recovery and knows that it doesn't happen overnight, but is willing to love me just the same and who is holding me accountable. Which brings me to my final point of Step One.

If you have something in your life that you know is keeping you from growing closer to God, you need to get up from where you are at, turn 180 degrees, and run as fast and as far as you possibly can from that sin! If it is alcohol, throw it away, if it is a sexual relationship you shouldn't be in, cut it off, if it is an addiction to pornography, eliminate the temptation by removing your main source. If sitting alone in a quiet place with a computer is where you stumble, then you need to go find somewhere and someone to be with. Create boundaries around you to protect yourself. You are less likely to fall into sin if you never allow yourself to be alone with your computer then you are if you are sitting in front of your computer alone, in a struggle to stay away from those sites.

Take for instance one of my favorite Bible characters of all time, Joseph. In Genesis 39 we find our friend Joseph in a bit of a conundrum. He has been placed over his Master's entire household and is charged with it's care. Enter Potiphar's wife. A woman who is clearly unfaithful to her husband, and who's main object of lust is our boy joseph. We all know the story of how she puts the moves on him. He gets up and runs away from her as fast as he can, so fast he leaves his belongings behind. Joseph knew that Sin is a powerful thing, and that once it has it's hold on you, there is no going back down an easy escape route.

The road to recovery is one that is trying and hard. But it is comforting to know that through it all, God is faithful to us. He loves us and lavishes His gifts of Grace upon us. If only we could open our eyes, flee from Sin, and Run toward His open arms... Food for thought.

Transmogrification:

To Change in Appearance or Form, especially Strangely or Grotesquely.

Welcome everyone to my blog. I'm not going to sugar coat the subject of this blog, I want you the reader to know what we are delving into together. I am Joshua Pepper. I am a Theology major at the University of Mobile. I am 20 years old, and I am a Junior. I am also a recovering Pornography addict. I have been in a constant struggle day in and day out for the last 6 to 8 years of my life. I have many other sins in my life that I am not proud of and this blog's purpose is to attack them head on and reveal the beauty and power of God's grace in my life. But not just my life, your life too. This is a journey that I want you to be a part of, the journey deeper into the mystery of God, His passionate desire for a relationship with us, and His willingness to forgive us of our deepest, darkest, ugliest sins.

The journey of Transmogrification. My goal being, to change and warp my appearance away from the world's standards and pressures, and to turn toward God and His unstoppable crazy love for each and every one of His children. This is an epic journey. It reminds me of one of my favorite movies of all time, The Lord of the Rings. It maps out the journey of one individual in particular who intrigues me, his name is Aragorn. He is a mere ranger, a lone individual living for himself and struggling to find his place and his identity in Middle Earth. As the movies progress, we not only see him step up and take a leadership role in the struggle between good and evil, but we also see him find his place of belonging. For too long have I lived as a lone ranger, wandering in and out of a direction and meaning to my life. I now know that I am part of something bigger than me and that I do have a place of belonging. My place is in the shadow of Christ, my savior, my redeemer, and my reward. Marching toward His goals for my life even though I don't know what they are yet.

Is this journey going to be easy? I mean it sounds like you already know where you're going and what you have to do right? No. Philippians 1:21: "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is Gain." To live IS Christ, to live for Him and more importantly to allow Him to live through you, is not an easy task, nor is it a painless process. It means cutting away things that this world has trained us to think of as needs and requirements for happiness. The answer to the second question hurts just as bad... The thing about giving control of your life to someone else is that you no longer have control. Read that sentence again and think about how much of your day you spent living for you. I can't even begin to think of all the selfish and bratty things I did for me today that had nothing to do with God's will for my life nor did they in any way effect anyone for the Gospel, the one thing we are CALLED to do.

John 3:30 says, "He must become greater and greater, I must less and less." I honestly don't think I have what it takes to complete this journey. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has all the strength, power, abilities, and sources to see accomplish anything He asks me to do.

So then where do we start? We start by confessing our sin and making things right with God. He desires a relationship with each and every one of us. He is a passionate lover, jealous for the hearts of His children. He is the greatest of lovers. All He wants is for us to love Him back, to put Him first and foremost in our lives. If you are having doubts, I understand. It is not wired into us to totally abandon all control of our lives and give it up to someone we have never seen. Faith is not something that comes natural to us at all. It is something that you and I must grow into.

In closing, I would like to say that this is a dangerous conquest. The idea of completely walking out of a sinful lifestyle that comes natural and to abandon control to God is a concept that shakes the principalities of darkness at their core. Embarking on this journey means you will come under direct and relentless attack from the Evil one. But oh the reward! Take heart in this, "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." James 4:10.